losing a family member

Mother’s Day Without My Mother – Keeping Her Memories Alive

It’s been a year and a half now since I lost my mom suddenly and without any warning.  She was my heart, my soul, my mentor and my child in so many ways.

She showed me how to love unapologetically, how to appreciate art, how to be street smart, how to just be.
In every sense of the word my mother was just pure emotion.  When she loved, she REALLY loved, and when she was hurt she was devastated.

I miss her now and every single day. There’s not a day that goes by that I do not think about her and with every fiber of my being I take heart in knowing that she provided me the lessons I needed in life to be strong and to be cautious and to love.

I lead with my heart the way I realize she did.

I can’t say she’s in a better place because I don’t believe that, however she is in a better place in my memories and in my heart.

I think back on the times we shared and become overwhelmed with either guilt or with gladness that I was filled with bitterness and/or joy respectively.

She hurt me.  And I hurt her. But never did I ever doubt that we loved each other unabashedly.

And so on this Mother’s Day 2015; 1 year and 7 months later, the pain is stings just as much as the day I lost her.
That being said, I found solace in channeling my energy to creating this video for her. It brought me closer to her and despite not having very many videos to choose from (which made it extremely difficult since she refused to be in front of the camera) I made something that I can say describes exactly how I feel.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom.  I know you’d be so proud of me for this and for what I do each and every day having you as my guide.